Oh where oh where have I been? yea, like any of you were really wondering. i don't care; i'm telling my story anyway. i've been giving extra TLC to both kids and finding patients and love from a higher source. since days run together i don't know exactly which friday, but Brayland started with a fever on a friday night. saturday and sunday he had high fevers and throwing up everything. poor kid, "mom, me no more thorw-up" --as he is dry heaving...have you ever tried to talk while you are finsihing? he splept for two days strainght and cuddled most of the time. i lvoe being a mom when they want to cuddle. sunday afternoon i called our peditrican on call and it was his partner doc. for some reason they always go to the extreme. "you should take him to the ER immidatly. he is dehydrated and they are going to have to hook him up to IVs and blaa blaa blaa...i was not excited abou that and felt we were not at that point yet. i don't know what i was looking for when i called. well, i had brian give him a blessing and that brought things back into presepctive. monday i thought we were on the up swing. he was able to keep some food down thanks to brian's ingenious ideas. well, his phliosphy was to eat a little dry toast then try the applesauce, then a bite of toast followed by applesauce. that way the bread would absorb the other. but his temp wouldn't break. so i took him to the doc on tuesday. double ear infection! i would ask brayland does your body hurt anywhere and the answer was nothing but moans and groans. so he was set with meds... THEN brilee comes down with a fever i took her to the doctor after two days and her ears were on the verge of becoming bad infections. more meds. after the frist four days of loving patients and catering to an ill child i felt like i had nothing left. cabin fever was settign in and i was goign nuts...and i was craving twix ice cream so bad; but our freezer is broken...thursday will be the sixth time they come to "try to fix it". it would be cheaper to jsut give us a new fridge. anyway, amongst all this cioas and feeling very out of control of my elements i had some very tender moments with my saviour. i wont' share details since this is the internet and all but it was comforting to know i was not alone. "be still; i am here" was repearted to me many times. wonderful it calmed us all down in the heat of our uncontrolled moemtns. and on this note i'm so thankful for how "busy" the church keeps us. i feel like that is the only time i am spiritual uplifted; that it isn't my responsiblity to lift others physically and spiritually. it is my turn. going to our little relief soceity nights, institute, and sacrament meeting~especially the music, always brings me a little more power to continue. so yes, i think being sick is over and we can get back to normal. i can calm down. what is not over is the endless journey of each individual learning curve. my personal learning curve that effects the entire family dynamics and each child's unique needs. i've heard it many times from experienced mothers that what works for one child does not necessarily work for the other. amanda and i were able to talk uninturrupted the other night share and growing together. she shared a quote with me that has been coming back to me over and over lately. something to the effect that it doesn't matter what we do wtih our children or how we do it. what shapes them is who we are. that says a lot. and another thought that the two of us came up with is why are we not turning to heavenly father more often for answers? he created each of us; created our family; knows each one of us as his own of course he has the answers. our conclusion was that we don't believe him. i/we believe in him but do we believe him. it takes a lot of faith searching his will and searchign for anwsers and direction and guidance through the same book distributed to everyone yet even though the words are the same the book through the holy ghost has the power to deliver personal, unique revelations to each person. okay, getting to deep. i'm just writing what is in my head; i'll save it for my journal. :)
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