I have found motivation today! yea! this weekend was um...hard. i was someone i didn't want to be. i think it all stemmed from expected Amdon to come and having the house completely prepared for him and no Amdon. and every one's pressure for me to have this baby. even though i kept telling myself he will come when he is ready my people-pleasing-personality was trying to take over. this past weekend would have been "ideal" everyone would say. it depressed me and i didn't want to do anything. doesn't help that my feet hurt to walk on them and the tv was on all day -it felt like. brayland started complaining his knee hurt again and he limped around on it all day. i think he too was having a bad day. which we are all entitled too but not the same day that mom is! :) anyway, i'll spare the details of the awful weekend.
So today was so much better! the kids woke up happy ~big plus for the day! happily took their baths/showers and got dressed. Brayland took his meds like a trooper! and they happily went to nursery while i attended my institute class. today we studies Mosiah 16. i wish i had the study habits to get out of the scriptures what we do in one hour of class. we went through the one chapter and i was so enriched and uplifted. that would have not happened by myself. so after class we headed over to the library for their story/craft time. the kids love it. why do i not go more often!? and today's craft was beyond simple but very entertaining. i don't understand why i'm not programed to think of these small simple crafts to do at home. 
so here is what they did. yes that is it! they used a glue stick and stuck squares to another piece of paper. i don't know how it correlated with any story, but that's not the point. beautiful cheap entertaining art work. brayland's is the left and brilee's is the right. AND they gave everyone bubbles afterwards! so we came home and did bubbles. and everyone is still happy. anyway, i'm back to being somewhat to a normalcy again. and the kids even played together in their playroom upstairs for over an hour!!!! we even hit Costco at 5:30 and did a big "preparing" shop and bought dinner; i love pizza! it's like i'm not evening having a baby. he he. amdon is defiantly preparing himself though. things are slowing moving forward. pre-labor signs are happening often. i'll spare the details of those too. :)
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sorry, not trying to discount your feelings...it is hard when things don't go as you expect. let's take a note from Mom, don't expect anything but the worst. Then you'll get what you expected (in the worst case senairo) or be plesantly surprised. ;)
oh, and a bit of child psychology: I think it's interesting that Brilee has reached the age of doing what's expected or what's "right." and Brayland is still a child - creatively speaking. I'm referring to Brilee's papers are all lined up and Brayland's are cadiwhompus. don't know if you noticed that...