Oct 10th

so yea, i haven't blogged in awhile. i don't feel my thoughts are internet worthy. my journal has received most of it. heehee.

so I've started month seven of baby #4. Pregnancy has finally kicked in. the first six months were a breeze. never needed a nap, no morning sickness, just ate more. but this month, ugh. it takes my body everything it's got to get going in the morning. i'm so weak and exhausted every day. after 11 i'm ready for the day.

And i think in a couple of weeks i'll be stuck in the horizontal position. My left SI joint is giving me some incredible discomfort. Good neighbor, Ben, has shown me some stretches to help, but it doesn't feel like it helps. it feels like it just aggrivates it. as i get bigger the pain is just going to get worse. can't sit or stand in the same position too long. and it's so hard to remember to rest. i was standing all day today. i made homemade brownies (oh my! super good!) a loaf of bread, and my french bread then i made spaghetti sauce. then i stood and fixed holes in our clothes. i think i'm going to look into buying those squishy mats to put in my kitchen where i stand so much. if it wasn't for brilee needing some cuddly time this afternoon i dont' think i would have sat all day.

but on the bright side; i have pants that fit me!!!! I've struggled with maternity pants. they are too short and too big up top. my sister should have had kids first because she found a patterned online to make her own maternity pants. she took a pair that fit me pre pregnancy and altered them. they have been wonderful. I wear them everyday. it's these or lougy pants. if i wear lougy pants i'm in slow mo all day. jeans kick me in to go gear. heehee. This picture is from the beginning of September so i think i'm beginning of six months here.

I still feel very unclear as to how life will be with four kids. i have no game plan. i have decided that i'm camping downstairs post delivery. the boys can play in the toy room while i sleep on the couch. I'll need to have brian bring down a mini-fridge and install a door bell with intercom system. haha.

overall life has been great now that brian is home and i'm done traveling. our inconsistency for two months has taken a toll on brilee and brayland. brilee is now happy on a daily basis and brayland has calmed considerably. and i find so much joy in my children now. it was my one prayer as i went to education week back in august. the biggest lesson i walked away with was to relax. the children will learn life's lessons; i don't need to force and formalize it so much. somehow i've let go of my to do list making my day to day decisions and now i really feel a change in my prospective. I'm more laid back. teach when the opportunity is there. play and listen when they are ready. include them with the toilet scrubbing and laundry. bills will get paid and prayer will become a part of their lives. I more make sure i'm being the person i want my children to be. they will learn the most from my example and thoughts.

i find it so incredible the difference between each child. all three are so different. I'm excited to see what #4 will be like. for example...Amdon and Brayland...

Amdon is observant, teachable, into small details, understands! he is not even a year and a half yet. this is Amdon with his cousin Dashell. he understood baby, be gentle. he understands his car seat buckle. he understands and is obedient. and tonight at dinner he bowed his head for prayer! i couldn't get over how cute and adorable that was!

Brayland on the other hand is content in dependency. never cared how is seat belt worked. doesn't care to help. will wait till i say something the fifth time. and it is so cute how he find five to ten small toys each day to carry with him EVERY WHERE! plus his blanket. he is the only child out of three so far that is attached to me like a puppy and his blanket. His recent accomplishment: riding his bike without training wheels!